I dunno why am i different. Now i tink dat birthdays are absolutly redundant. Its v saddening to tink in such a way. And i feel even worse because i have reasons to further support my point. Firstly u spend money or u made other people spend money on you.
2nd. you have to accept the fact that you are getting older and another year of ur precious lifetime is gone.
3rd and u feel sad because the person that u hope would be the first to wish u didnt wish u happy birthday at all.
i tink i nid psycological help. any of u study psycology out dere?

Sometimes it really makes me wonder how some people think. How they analyze situations and den decide wad to do. Like someone did a kind act and people dun even say a thank you and might even treat it as if it nv happen. Are they really dat cold? I cant help but wonder.
Been back from taiwan for quite awhile. Bought lotsa presents and food for people. Had them mostly distributed out except for huiwen's tie dan, coz she like too busy and jia's bdae prez and she'll only be bac in singapore in dec. Although nothing serious happened in this trip but it certainly changed my opinion on this group of people dat i went on a holiday wif.
Surprising how a few days together can totally change what you think about them.
Been bored these few days.. like nothing much to do. Finding jobs is irritating. So i'll jus settle for Asiacom Business Networks Pte Ltd. (ABN). Its a foreign bank and im suppose to help them market their credit cards. Dunno if im up for the job coz im not really good at promoting stuff.
I realise almost every year i spend my birthday the same way. Its boring. Last year i was in camp staying in and yup mayb this year too. Not v happy birthdays oso.

i dunno why im saying this but i mus say it! -> i'm fucked up. My heart sinks with every ticking second. Illusions of what might be forms in my head. Half of me tells me to give up and get on with life. The other half of me tells me to persist on. I dunno what should i do.
First let me list the reasons why i tink im fucked up.
1. Im indecisive
2. Im selfish and inconsiderate
3. I lost most of my frens because i neglected them
4. and then i blame them
5. No one loves me
6. i keep losing nowadays even 1v1s
7. because i let my emotions get the better of me
8. im poor
Thats why i tink im punished to lead a lonely life for the above reasons.